Monday, December 17, 2012

Help Me Make Love (Mature)

OK so I am working on a sex scene. I have been reading post after post on what makes a good sex scene. So far the consensus is that I should not say penis, which makes me sad. I think the word penis is a sexy word, but it seems everyone else thinks it is too clinical or will make people giggle. On the other hand they were discouraging me to use something called "Purple Prose" which included examples such as: wand of love and dewy folds. These things I do not find sexy anyway so luckily I could easily avoid the purple prose kind of thing. There were lots of other things that had some agreement, but none so overwhelming as do not say penis. So where does that leave me? Cock, dick or wiener? Alright wiener just made me laugh out loud so I guess that one is out, too. Someone suggested just saying me because everyone will know what you mean anyway.

For example: She licked her hands and grabbed my penis.
Versus: She licked her hands and grabbed me.

I guess they are right, that does sound more alluring than the penis example.

Another good piece of advice they gave me was to make sure you don't ignore the emotional for the carnal. That sex is an emotional experience as well as a physical one. This we already know, but it is a good reminder to make sure we are using both sides to engage the reader.

A final piece of advice that surprised me, but makes sense is that sex should be used to develop a character or reveal something that we didn't know. This never occurred to me. I was just going to use sex because it is fun to have and read, but I am now trying to think about what it will reveal about my characters. other than they like to have sex.

Do you have any good tips for making a sex scene better?


  1. I'm no expert on this at all, but I doubt you should have hard and fast rules about what language to use - I think it depends on the type of story/scene and the kind of characters you're writing about. I've just been reading a very well known novel with a scene in which the word penis is used and it worked just fine.


  2. Whether you call it a penis, dick, cock, pecker, peter, wang, joystick, or what have you depends on the POV character. If the character would call it a pecker, then write "pecker."

    I have one character who's kind of a man's man, and as I wrote in his POV, pecker and dick came out. But when I jumped into the POV of a woman, she called it a cock. She couldn't seem to say pecker or dick. However, I can see her saying wiener or thingie if she's bashful. In fact, I just proofed a love scene in an upcoming book of mine and the female protagonist called his junk "that" while referring to her hoo-hoo as "there."

    Okay, so now I'M laughing.

    If anything, I hope this helped you come up with some more terms to use for man parts. :) Just remember always to call it what the POV character would call it. That makes the scene more believable and creates deeper characterization.

  3. Thanks for your comment. It was funny and helpful. Though I still don't think I can write wiener without busing out laughing.