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Camp NaNo Update: I stand at 2,204 putting me 464 behind. Not bad for not writing on Sunday. The Robots are trying to steal my victory.
The thought behind a comic fantasy is really, well funny. It is often referred to as low fantasy because it sits opposite High Fantasy. Some well known comic fantasy writers are Terry Pratchett and Piers Anthony. I love Piers Anthony's Xanth series as well as the Incarnations of Immortality. I haven't read Terry Pratchett, but my husband is a huge fan. My execution of this story is severely lacking. So maybe CRAPPY fantasy would probably be a better name for what awaits you in the second half of this post. It took a long time and I am not really happy with how it turned out, but I can't spend another second looking at this story so here it is.
Zatla and Julius followed the directions on the scroll that was delivered to their door by a funny little gnome messenger to the Elliptical Lute Tavern. It looked clean, but rustic and generally had a more lively crowd than their usual place. It seemed like every time they were back in town someone needed them to find or do something. Almost like there was an advertisement notice for adventurers seeking quests in the square or something. As they approached the large wooden door a hooded cloaked someone stepped out of the shadows.
“Lovely to see you here Taredd, how do you always know where we are?”
“Because I’ve got you bugged,” he said matter of factly.
She took it from Julius and scowled at Taredd. “You better come if I ever need you wizard,” she threatened then she tossed the bug back on her head and it scuttled down into her blond hair.
“Let’s get this done,” Taredd said as he pulled open the door and they were greeted by joyful music and aromas of roasted meats.“ After you, fearless leader.” Then she heard him add, “Always send the tank in first.”
Zatla scowled at the wizard again as Julius chuckled, but she walked in first. The round bartender was engaged with another patron, but still managed to welcome the party with a wave. The tavern was packed with what looked like mostly passing merchants, which often means great company. The crowd was dancing, singing and clapping. Except for two well dressed men bent over a map in the far corner.
“We've been doing this long enough to know it must be those guys In the corner who are looking to hire, ”Julius said nodding to the men and the group headed around the merriment to greet them.
“We heard you need some help,” Zatla said as she laid the scroll on the table.
“A fighter, a wizard and a cleric walked into a bar.” the guy in purple said.
“Too bad they didn't duck,” Taredd responded laughing. Julius nudged him to remind him that his sense of humor has gotten them into far too many scrapes in the past. Zatla rolled her eyes at the wizard before she sat down across from the men and the others followed suit.
“We have encountered a delicate situation and require a certain type of skilled assistance,” said the more pomposity dressed man in emerald-green.
“Yes, The Guild has recently acquired a hoard that included many scroll cases containing some maps and prophecies,” the pompous man said.
“We believe we have discovered the exact location of the greatest of all treasures, the MacGuffin. As well as how it was intended to be used.”
“The MacGuffin? It was lost long ago. Mentions of it vaguely sprinkles Elvin myths,” Taredd said sitting up with interest and forgetting he usually made it his mission to harass Zatla though these kinds of meetings.
“What is this MacGuffin you are talking about? I make it my job to know treasure and I haven’t heard of it,” said Zatla.
“Of course you haven’t heard of it. Only the races with the longest memories keep this kind of knowledge,” the man in purple said with a sneer.
“Moving right along,” said the pompous man. “It is currently located in The Great Erected Obelisk. It was placed there where it was prophesied it would be used as an energy source. The glass top of the obelisk is supposed to project powered rays of destruction when the stars align and the strongest sun of the year bares down.”
“I’m having Deja Moo,” Taredd said to his companions. “You know, the feeling I’ve heard this bull before.”
“Naturally you've heard of it before. Every great myth has a kernel of truth and many have stolen from this myth,” said the purple clad man. “The point is…”
“At the top of the obelisk,” Taredd interrupted.
“Yes, and we need you to go retrieve the MacGuffin from it.”
“You make it sound simple.” Julius said.
“I don't know how to put on a helmet. The whole thing goes right over my head,” said Taredd and even Zatla chuckled this time.
“Who will we come looking for upon our return?” Asked Julius.
“Name? What's in a name? You can call me PP,” the man in purple said and he tossed a sack on the table. The resulting thud made the party jump slightly.
Zalta reached out to see what was in the pouch. “Platinum pieces? This bag full of platinum without delivering, what's the catch?”
“That's half. I don't need adventurers that are sleeping on the job. We have a deadline of a fortnight so require you to work quickly, but discretely.”
“But sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed,” Taredd said. He was promptly elbowed by both of his companions.
“What happens if we can't make it back in that time frame?” Asked Julius.
The pompous man raised his eyebrow watching her carefully and asked, “Are you implying you're not up to the job?”
“We're not implying anything, but these kind of missions always come with risks and unless you can tell us exactly what's awaiting in that erection there’s always a small chance it could out match us.” Zatla said with her eyes narrowed on the pompous man.
“Not to worry about the money. If you fail everyone from the obelisk to well past this city will be dead. We'll just assume you aren't going to pay it back or deliver and it won't do us much good anyway,” the man in purple said in a curt tone.
“It’s ok we’ll survive it,” Taredd said with an upbeat wink.
Everyone stared at the wizard for a moment in disbelief then Zatla said, “Do you know what apocalyptic means?”
“So what if I don't know what apocalyptic means! It's not the end of the world!” Taredd said with a completely straight face. Zatla shoved him off his chair and didn't even look even he hit the floor.
Do you like Comic Fantasy? Who do you like to read in that genre? Let me know in the comments.
Photos by Pixabay.